Worst blogger of 2013 candidate right here. The truth is I was going through a little personal growth. And that personal growth included hitting a little bit of a rough patch that fully engulfed every aspect of my life. And I just didn’t feel like blogging. Or being funny. Or running. Things are on the up and up though. I started a new job and that has made a world of a difference.

Can I say that life is all butterflies and rainbow sprinkles? No (not jimmies. Those are chocolate only. And if you say chocolate sprinkles, I can’t even talk to you right now). But I’d like to think my mental space is a little better off to deal with all that life entails. I mean for reals. I have to wash my dishes EVERY night? Foo. And bills. They just show up every 30 days. Not cool. Can’t I just go blow my money on candy bars and cigarettes movie tickets like I did when I was in high school working part time. Rent? Pssh. Whatevs. Not.

I’m determined, DETERMINED to run a successful half marathon this year. I want it. I really do. For a little while there 18 months ago I was starting to feel fit. And my confidence shot through the roof. My insecurities started to quiet down. It was wonderful. Thankfully as I’ve gotten lazy again and added horrible eating habits, a lot of that confidence has stayed with me. But I’m feeling like I’m at a breaking point. If I keep going the way I am I’m going to start shying away from friends and situations outside of my comfort zone, again. Insecurities will come back. And I don’t want to. I don’t like that knot in my stomach. I’d rather have the not of OMG-I’m-so-uncomfortable-with-this-new-thing-oh-wait-THIS IS SO MUCH FUN WHY DIDN’T I DO IT BEFORE knot. So. It’s time to start getting back to “Smiling to a smaller, fitter me” as my Weight Watchers blog was called. I’m already a week back into WW and running and feeling pretty good. Except today. We had a regulatory audit at work. That sentence seems simple enough. But the process is not. I will not bore you with details but it involves a lot of sitting and waiting and then being ON and answering questions that have serious implications and running around printing and stapling and stamping documents “Copy”. And basically you spend the whole time justifying your existence as a company. Think about it as the most intense final you ever took in college. It’s a lot of work and very draining. But in the middle you get lunch. And you get to chat with the auditor. And build a rapport. Which comes in handy down the road. We had Panera boxed lunches. I opened my healthy smoked turkey to find a bacon turkey bravo. Only the most glorious sandwich on their menu which I proceeded to inhale. Then I ate the GIANT cookie. I had been running around all morning and was craving a little chocolate burst of energy. NBD. I was going to the Y for a run after work. And my dinner is chili which is mostly vegetables with a little beef. But. At the end of the day, my boss’s boss and my boss (new as of 2 weeks ago) said let’s go debrief over a beer in the kitchen. That turned into 2 and I left the office at 8. I fully support this decision because this is 100% what I wanted from a working environment. And those late night conversations are where you get exposed to so much extra insight that help with the job and also opens me to future opportunity. When I left, I still could have gone running. But that would mean dinner at 9:30 and I’m just not into that. Of course it’s 10:25 and I’m just about to eat dinner. But it’s for an entirely different reason (hello 2 hour phone call with my mother). So I can be more on board than if it was self inflicted to take my very tired sore legs through their paces on the dang treadmill. So. Well. That’s it. I’m going to go eat. Happy almost Friday in 90 minutes!

Hearts and half marathons, kittens!