It would be hilarious if it didn’t hurt

I have these really cute shoes that I wear to work on Fridays. They’re light weight and pretty casual so they are great for spring time casual Friday. I would describe them as mock boat shoes. But there’s a problem. They have leather laces that don’t have a purpose and DON’T STAY TIED!!! Really I could super glue them, but do you think I have super glue? I have every ticket stub to every event I’ve ever been to and enough tools to fix almost anything around that house. But super glue is a no. So I’m stuck retying them. All. Day. Long. And I think the more I tie them, the more flexible the lace becomes and the more they come untied. Now I’ve resigned myself to just leaving them untied. Which frees me up to do other things. Like work. But the lace problem has now affected other areas of my life. When leaving the office for lunch today I was at the door. It’s a big wooden door that opens out. While my hand was on the handle and the door was partially open, my peripheral vision pick up the untied lace. And rather than my brain saying “It’s ok, you’ve decided to leave them like that” my brain said “oh look down right now, it might be a life or death moment” so I looked down and BANG! I hit my head on the door. That I was holding open. For myself. How does that even happen? For the rest of the afternoon I’ll have untied shoes and a headache. Bring on the booze.

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