My letter to John Green full of shameless gushing

I will warn you now. This post has nothing to do with running, health, fitness, or other shenanigans.  I recently finished reading The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. The minute I finished the last page I drafted a letter. I’ve held onto it for a week because I wanted to keep it to myself for a little longer. The book was so good and I just wanted to bask in it’s greatness in private for a little longer. Other than that one quick tweet to tell everyone to read it. Today is the one year anniversary of it’s publishing and I decided it’s time to share. I could just mail it to him. But that’s so 1999. And if I can persuade even one more person to read this book, I’ll be happy. Plus, I share everything else with the internet, why not share this. I’m starting to think I need to get a pet. Or a roommate.
Here it is. My internet letter to John Green. Read this. Then read this book. You’ll never be the same.
Dear John Green,
It is 11:53 pm. On a Sunday. I have a New Year’s goal (not a resolution because I refuse), to have screens off by 10:00 and read for a half hour. Clearly I have missed this goal tonight.
I can’t remember how exactly I learned of The Fault in Our Stars. I think probably your twitter account. Which I found through Crash Course (btw, I love Crash Course). But once I did discover its existence, I resisted reading it. I am the child of a mother who fought cancer as a 12 year old. Though the chemo and actual battle with cancer was won decades before my birth, I have watched my mother deal with the after effects my whole life. She is a strong woman but man is cancer, and all that it entails, a bitch. I love my mother, truly adore her and all that she has taught me. And to see her have even one crummy afternoon because of this evil thing is upsetting. I tell you this because it is the chief reason why I held out, why I refused to peak between these pages. I love the work you do on Crash Course and VlogBrothers. I had no doubt that this book would be phenomenal. But I didn’t want to put myself in that world. I was afraid it would hurt too much.
But then I kept seeing it pop up in your twitter feed. And I noticed the attention you were receiving (well deserved, I might add). And I couldn’t say no anymore. I bought it as a post-Christmas present to myself. And damn. Damn. This book was phenomenal.
I mean. Just. It’s hard for me to even put into words how remarkable this book was because I fear once I start I’ll just keep going. A good book can make a person cry. A great book can make a person laugh. But the greatest book can make a person cry (check), laugh (double check), and gasp (triple check) all in the same paragraph. I’m a science geek. I think bio is the cat’s pajamas. Since a young age I have gravitated to math and science and have avoided English and reading as much as humanly possible. Since college I haven’t changed much. I want to read more (another goal for 2013) but I’m not particularly well read. However, when I read the line “It’s hard as hell to hold on to your dignity when the risen sun is too bright in your losing eyes” I wanted to sit down and write a ten page paper, right then and there. I have no idea what the subject would be because, hello, science. But I’d find something in those pages that my English lame brain could process.
I knew I would cry, how could a person not expect to? But the surprise came in how deeply and irrevocably moved I was by these characters and your words. Your words. Just. They leave me speechless. And a couple of times they left me breathless. Literally. I’m using the word correctly. I had to sit up in bed for fear of suffocation.
I don’t really know how I’ll go in to work tomorrow and be surrounded by people who haven’t read this book. To live in my world that isn’t filled with people who know the world of The Fault in Our Stars. It is my hope that everyone in their life reads this book. I will be wholeheartedly disappointed in our society if this book does not end up taught in all classrooms along with The Jungle, Of Mice and Men, and A Raisin in the Sun. A magnificent book in a long line of American novels craftily bringing us into a world many of us will never know in person, but should be understood in order to live as a member of the human race and to appreciate the true frailty of the life we each lead.
I’ve loved other books. And I’ve been tempted to reach out to an author. This is the first time I have actually followed through. We’ve never met. I doubt we ever will. And the whole world is waking up to the phenomenality that is this book (I’m an engineer. We make up words. I’m going with it). But I felt compelled to add my voice to say: Well done sir. Well done.
I look forward to reading your other works; present and future. And tuning into Crash Course and VlogBrothers, of course!
Your newest, life-long and never wavering fan.
P.S. Seriously, just. Wow.

Why the YMCA is the best

Dear middle aged man with the XL spare tire, slightly too small tee shirt and hot pink iPod at the Y,
Go you! This may not be true but while I was sweating it out on the erg machine this is the story I made up in my head as inspiration. It’s January 4th. And your iPod is hot pink. I’m pretty sure you’re a resolutioner. But I think you’re a resolutioner that will stay around much longer than the end of January. I think you will manage to lose weight an stay healthy for years to come.  You look like you found whatever gym clothes you had in the house from 10 years ago. That iPod screams “I borrowed this from my daughter”. Your sneakers look like they walked here from 1998. And. Well. That’s my proof. You didn’t go out and buy all new clothes and equipment. You probably didn’t just spend $200 at Whole Foods buying al fresh and organic food and swear you’re gonna bring a salad to work everyday. You’re just here. At 7:30 on a Friday night. Putting in the time. Putting in the time to make you healthy, to ensure a longer life, to give you more memories with your family and friends. Putting in the time rocking out to a hot pink iPod. That is BA. Just keep doing your thang. I hope I run into you a lot.
This machine says it’s only been 7 minutes!? You need a longer back story.

Speaking of the Y I finally signed up. I’ve been in my current apartment for a year and a half. The Y is 0.7 miles from my house. I timed it last night. The drive was 2 minutes and 7 seconds. I had resisted because of cost. The “fitness center” in my office park was sufficient. And free. But some new companies moved in and that place got hella crowded including 4 guys who do weight circuits together 2x a week. Don’t get me wrong. Dudes were respectful. And it was nice to see them over and over.  But that room wasn’t big enough for them and my v-ups. Plus competing with other runners for treadmills and warm up an cool down space. Plus they have 1 bike and 4 elliptical a meaning I had to fight for my cross training space too. For a little while last year I tried Planet Fitness. But it was too much what their commercial said they aren’t. It was mostly dudes pumping serious iron. And stick thin women pretending to use the elliptical but never actually breaking a sweat. I had been a member of a Y before. But it had been expensive. Turns out the greater Boston Ys consider me a young adult and my heealth insurance pays for part of it. (Autocorrect change that to wealth insurance. I wish!) So now it’s the same cost for a month as a night out for drinks. Not even dinner. Just drinks! Plus they have two pools, classes, and more equipment that is well maintained than I could ever need. And on top of that all the areas are spacious and clean. And are filled with teenaged sports hopefuls, moms and dads trying to get fit, and people like me, putting in the time for weight loss and running goals. Plus 4 times a week they have group 5ks. For free. I’m excited. Bring on the serious half marathon training!

Hearts and hot pink iPods!

7 Weeks into Training

Oof. I know I’ve been MIA from the blogosphere. I did not realize how all consuming working two jobs at Christmas would be. I’ll still be working two jobs after Christmas but I won’t have to spend all my free time getting everything done for a particular day. This is why Christmas drives me nuts. It’s not about spending time with family. It’s a list of stuff you have to do for the people you love. And I do love them. But it’s so. Much. Work. This is why, in my heart, Thanksgiving wins on the holiday front.
Anyways. I’m in week 7 of my training plan. Following this path I’ll be ready to run a half marathon on April 14th, but the race I want to run (actually run this time, not bail on at the last second) is May 12th. So I’ll be repeating 4 weeks somewhere in there. I’m still dong run/walk intervals. Though the running is now 4x the walking so we’re getting pretty close to all running. I think those are the weeks I’m going to repeat. I’m hoping those extra weeks will let me whip my mental game into shape. That’s the hardest part for me right now. Pushing through. So far, though, this training plan has been enough to get me to push. Even when my body is screaming “please for the love of all things fitness related no more v-ups”. As part of this plan I’ve been granted 6 eff it days where I can just say “eff it. I don’t want to” and be completely guilt free. I’ve only used one in the first quarter of the training! That’s such a huge improvement over trying to train on my own. I guess paying for a training plan and then having a virtual “running club” in the form of an exclusive facebook group is what it takes. I was afraid that because all my new runner friends were virtual I’d lose motivation but so far I’ve only had a couple of runs that I haven’t wanted to run but I got out there because I don’t want to let down the group. And Nicole promises that if I stick to this plan, I can run a half marathon successfully in 2013. And for now, I choose to trust her, even if I don’t fully believe  it. Because right now? Running 4 minutes at a time is about all I can handle. Then again three weeks ago I said 2 minutes at a time was all I could handle. So maybe she does know what she talking about?!?! I don’t know. For now it’s head down, feet forward. Except that’s bad form. So, um, head up, feet underneath me?

Playlist Thursday: Jamming to Cool Down

It’s Playlist Thursday! And this week’s theme? Songs to cool down to. Often if I sit too long during cool down listening to these I’m tempted to just curl up where ever I am. Office fitness center, side of the road, my car.

Here’s how Playlist Thursday works. I’ve got three songs for you; one in each of the following categories.
Something Old: Songs that are at least 5 years old. (I know that isn’t too long to be considered old, but music turnover happens quickly.)
Something Current: Songs that have been released within the past year.
Something to Consider: This is the wild card category. Feel free to list any song: old, current, guilty pleasure, underground, whatever.

Something Old

Artist: Little Big Town
Title: Bring it on Home
Side Note: I just love the harmonies and that deep down slow twang
Quotable: “When your long day is over, and you can barely drag your feet, the weight of the world is on your shoulders. I know what you need, bring it on home to me”

Something Current (I cheated. It’s 18 months old. Sue me)

Artist: Brad Paisley
Title: This is Country Music
Side Note: I just love Brad Paisley. It starts out slow, has an excellent message, but then at the end you get this little pump up. It’s just enough to get up off the floor from cool down and get on with the rest of what is left of my day. (I picked the video below because it also shows why I love Brad Paisley and his music. Plus that man can play)
Quotable: “This is country music, and we do”. Especially the first time he sings this line and then the beat after.

Something to Consider

Artist: Richard and Linda Thompson
Title: Dimming of the Day
Side Note: This song is so fluid and so relaxing. And I know it from the soundtrack to the Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood and is played during such a poignant moment. (This video is a little odd and I didn’t watch the whole thing. But it has the closest sound to the version that I listen to)
Quotable: “You pulled me like the moon pulled on the tide”

And there you have it. Now I want a nap.

My Mom is a smart lady

A couple weeks ago, I had a little breakdown. It was nothing major but I was having myself quite the pity party and couldn’t keep it all together. And a very smart lady listened, gave me a hug, and told me to get a grip. A little harsh? Maybe. But she was right. I can’t say that I have the best grip on everything yet. But I’m working on it. And it’s improving. This same smart lady (Ok. It was my Mom. Moms always have the answers) pointed out that I had been much happier when I was eating well and running. And again, she was right. I’m working very hard at recommitting to all the healthy habits I had last fall. This means 5 things.
1) I can’t say yes every time a co-worker says “want to grab a drink?”, no matter how good of an idea it sounds like at 5pm. It rarely is. And when it is a good idea it’s because it isn’t 4 nights in a row. The challenge comes in because I like the people I work with. Were all getting beat up professionally and going out to blow off steam together sounds like a solid plan. But we sit around and most rehash everything going on. And it’s draining. Not in a these-people-are-ridiculous-and-why-am-I-here kind of way. It’s draining in a we-can’t-get-over-this-because-all-we-do-is-live-it-during-the-day-and-relive-it-at-night way. And that’s no bueno for my mental, emotional, or physical health. And it’s definitely unhealthy for my bank account. Already in the past week I’ve said no three times. And yes once. Two weeks ago it would have been yes all 4 times. Plus we do talk about other stuff and that is usually hilarious. So one night is a good compromise for my weeknight rest day.
2) I need to go to bed at the same, reasonable hour every night. I was going to bed anytime between 11:30 and 1:30. I need 7-8 hours of good sleep. If I get up at 7 it’s only the nights that I go to bed before 12 that have a remote chance of being enough. And even on those nights I’m not asleep by 12. I’m watching Netflix. Or checking twitter. Or tumblr. No more. Screens off at 10. I can read or write or hum to myself. But that’s it.
3) I need to stick to Weight Watchers. I just do.
4) This training plan owns my life. During the 24 week plan we’re allowed 6 blow off days. 6. And they can’t be used for Sunday’s long runs. And it icludes sick days. Traveling to cousin Christmas on a Sunday? Gotta find an hour to run. Supposed to be somewhere right after work on Tuesday? Waking up early for a run or have a RUNch. Got a case of the Mondays? Too bad. Get thy derriere to the gym, on the bike, and lifting weights.
5) Have some fun. Whether it’s running with friends. Finding a goofy winter hat to train in. Reading a hilarious runner blog. Inviting co-workers over for dinner. Something. Something that’s not sitting at a bar or restaurant griping. We’ve got it good. We have jobs, homes, friends, and our health. We need to laugh more. Laughing is the very best part of life. And I’m doing it enough.

Hearts and lifestyle changes

Paleo week 1

Paleo week 1:
Days without grains, dairy, legumes, or anything processed: 7
Days grumpy: 7

My thoughts overall are this. Paleo is great for short term. It’s got me thinking more and more about food as nutrition. And is helping me make much better food choices. But it’s hard yo. And a boat load of work. For instance, I went to the beach on Saturday. The beach is a thing in my family. Because we live so close I was raised to always have my beach bag ready to go and we’ll grab a bagel on the way and bring sandwiches and everyone will be happy. Well. No sandwich for me. Instead I had to pack a salad, cut fruit, raisins, almonds, and, no joke, 86 ounces of water/seltzer. We went later than I’ve gone in a long long time so breakfast was at home. No easy bagel, had to make eggs. And cut fruit. The salad was good. And so was the fruit. But my Mom’s special K chips looked so much better. We left around 6:30. It’s at least an hour ride home. I was starving. But there aren’t really any Paleo options around, it’s sort of a trashy boardwalk full of mostly fried stuff or pizza. Normally I would have gone for the pizza. Instead I bought a lobster, came home, cooked it, and made this salad. Yes, the salad was much better for me than the pizza would have been. But I didn’t eat until after 8:30. Hungry me!

I also wake up tired every day. And not tired like I want to go back to sleep, but tired like I have no energy. And I’m pretty sure it’s because I cut out complex carbs. My body has no fuel to run on until I eat breakfast. Usually around lunch time is when I’m starting to feel energized.

Yes, my 4 mile run was actually pretty good on Sunday. And yes I lost a lot of weight last week. But at what cost. I’m hungry all the time, I have no energy, and during mile 4 of that run I had nothing nothing left in the tank and could maybe have hurt myself if I had run much longer. I’m going to stick with this, but next week I’m adding sweet potatoes. I also might eat a few servings of grains. I’m walking 26.2 miles for the Jimmy Fund and I don’t think I can walk for 14 hours with so little energy. I’m going to evaluate this weekend.

On September 9th, for the 4th year in a row, I’ll be walking the Jimmy Fund Walk to raise money to help kids with cancer be kids.
Please consider donating to support me in this

Playlist Thursday: Songs I never delete from my playlist

It’s Playlist Thursday!!!!!!!!! Which means Friday is just a dream away. And some good new music. Brian over at PavementRunner has selected an excellent theme this week: Never Deleted. He describes it like this”2

I want to see some songs that have been on your playlist FOREVER and have never left. What is a “MUST HAVE” song that is always on your playlist. Have fun with the “current,” maybe it’s something you think will always be on there.

The rules:
Something Old: Songs that are at least 5 years old. (I know that isn’t too long to be considered old, but music turnover happens quickly.)
Something Current: Songs that have been released within the past year.
Something to Consider: This is the wild card category. Feel free to list any song: old, current, guilty pleasure, underground, whatever.

Something Old. ARTIST: Dire Straits SONG: Money for Nothing Dirty Water. WHY: I’m sorry, but there is no song in the world that gives you a burst of adrenaline like that opening guitar riff after the build up of the long intro. No song. Even writing this now I’m getting goosebumps. We spent a lot of time in the car with my Dad as kids and he always had the radio on. And always to the songs of the 60s and 70s. Always FAVORITE LINE: “Money for nothing and your chicks for free” as a kid, my Dad managed to convince my brother and I that he was singing chips for free. Because, you know, when you’re a rock star you get really excited about those Lays chips back stage
Something Old. ARTIST: Outasight SONG: Tonight is the Night. WHY: I tend to listen to music the same way every time. Find a song I like, listen to it on repeat, get sick of it. This is a song I still haven’t skipped once. I love it. And I love the video. First, excellent beat. And second he’s singing about that one night that you get together with your friends and it’s just absolutely epic. And that’s one of the reasons I run. I run to get fit. I want to get fit so I’ll have the confidence to get out there and rock a tiny dress. FAVORITE LINE: “So if I got one chance, motherf–ker I’ma make y’all dance”

Something to Consider. ARTIST: Jimmy Buffet SONG: Coconut Telegraph. WHY: I’m a parrot head. It’s inherited from my Mom. We go to see the show every summer. I get her boozed up on a sip of beer in the parking lot and then we dance our pants off the whole night. It’s awesome. This song has such a great beat and it tells a story, which helps distract during that boring part of the run or that one last set of squats. Plus its about all the gossip the couple days after a party. And who doesn’t want to live that life a little? FAVORITE LINE: “I swear it’s just between me and you”

And there you have it. Good choices or bad? Be sure to check out the catalogue of all the participants over at the PavementRunner headquarters.
On September 9th, for the 4th year in a row, I’ll be walking the Jimmy Fund Walk to raise money to help kids with cancer be kids.
Please consider donating to support me in this cause:

Going Paleo

As promised. Here’s the big news. Half Marathon training officially kicks off this week. Ok. That’s not the big news. The actual news is I’m going Paleo. Before everyone jumps on to tell me how poor a decision this is, or how fad diets don’t work, I understand. But, here’s the thing. Nicole inspired me with her post about diet and nutrition choices and leaving each other alone. I am a Weight Watchers fan. I understand that with portion control and exercise I will lose weight healthily and will be most likely to keep the weight off. However, right now, my will power is zip to none. I’m at a point in my life where most of my social interactions are around going out for drinks. Or have people over for dinner. Or meeting for dinner and drinks. And it’s so easy to tell myself to have one glass of red wine and then get to the bar and someone else ordered a large beer and then I want that. Also, I work sort of long hours (not crazy long, but not just 40 hours a week). And some days I don’t want to cook. So I eat overly processed food. And then “treat” myself to an ice cream bar. And then one more because I have Weight Watchers points left for the day. In making the decision to try Paleo, I checked out some naysayers. And they had some really valid points. The one that really stuck with me as a reason not to try Paleo was this. If these foods I’m supposed to be avoiding were really what was making me fat, then everyone in Asia would be fat. But the Japanese are some of the healthiest people in the world. And right here at home, I have a friend who eats cheese, beer, wine, bread, peanut butter, and beans to her heart’s content and she’s one of the healthiest people I know. So I don’t think this will be a super long term plan. But for now, I need some strict rules to get me back on the weight-loss, feed-my-body-well track. And boy does the Paleo have some rules. I like rules, though. So at least for a little bit, Paleo is my diet. And we’ll see how this goes. Living without grains, dairy, and legumes. Plus no processed stuff. Including Diet Coke. You might want to avoid me in the mornings for the next little while.

Walking the Jimmy Fund Walk for the 4th time to raise money to help kids with Cancer
Please consider supporting me in this cause.
Donate here:

Jimmy Fund Walk 2012.

What up homies, friends, family, and random internet strangers/friends?

On Sunday September 9th, I’m walking 26.2 miles for the fourth time. And not just for fun. Here in Massachusetts we have a world class cancer center, Dana-Farber. Associated with Dana-Farber is the Jimmy Fund. In the only walk sanctioned by the BAA to use the Boston marathon course I’ll step the same steps as all those amazing marathoners that ran in that heat in April, all those 1st place winners and last place still-got-across-the-finish-

line finishers. All to raise money to help sick kids be more like kids and less like patients. The Jimmy Fund and Dana-Farber work hard to rid the world of this horrible disease, cancer, all the while remembering that treatment, doctor’s appointments, and hospital stays are interrupting a childhood. Money raised for the Jimmy Fund goes to brilliant scientists working diligently in labs to fight this disease and goes to creating an environment for these kids to get better in. When my Mom was sick in 1972 she stayed in an adult Oncology ward, there was no child ward, my grandparents could only visit during visiting hours, there were no cots for parents to stay with a scared child, and she survived through her strong will and the luck of living in New England in the back yard of some world class physicians and surgeons. These days kids get better with other kids, parents can stay all night and hold the hand of their son or daughter, and those kids are all there to see the best and brightest surgeons Boston and the world have to offer. And not just by luck. Boston has some of the top hospitals in the country. The Jimmy Fund supports it all.

I love doing this walk because it’s fun!

 I get to walk along those hallowed steps of the Boston Marathon

And they have the best PB&J I eat all year. Along with Michelle’s favorite chips

But mostly I (we) do it for the kids

Whether it’s birthday balloons for a freshly turned 8 year old stuck in a hospital, or supplies for those scientists in the labs, whether it’s board games to play with a visiting older sister, or bringing more world class surgeons to Boston, whether it’s a play room to get those kids up and moving and giggling, or a brand new care center; Every. Single. Dollar. Helps.

I’m asking you to donate. Any amount. 26 cents. 26 dollars. The cost of coffee for a day. The cost of Friday’s beer. Anything. Any amount helps. ANY. It helps find a cure, helps treat sick kids, helps to bring a bright spot to an otherwise terrible time.

As an added incentive, this year anyone donating $26.20 or more can dedicate a mile to anyone. (Even easier, the Walk Organizers have made it an quick donation option!) On the day of the Walk, I’ll wear those names on me; carry them with me, carry them 26.2 miles. In celebration. In remembrance. In defiance of that evil disease, cancer.

How to donate:

For those who would like to dedicate a mile to someone, donate and then email me at lkinnal[at]gmail[dot]com

I’ll be back to blogging about pretending to be a runner tomorrow. With some interesting news. Promise.

Finally, my first Playlist Thursday! Boston you’re my home

I’ve been wanting to write one of these posts for almost 6 weeks, but I keep being far away from a computer on a Thursday. So I haven’t. This week I’m fixing the situation. And bringing you my Playlist Thursday. Head on over to Pavement Runner for the scoop on his list and a list of other bloggers participating. But first, here’s my list. The rules are like this. It’s Thursday; I give you three songs on my current playlist that fit each of these categories. This week Pavement Runner’s theme is “Local Flavor”

Something Old: Songs that are at least 5 years old. (I know that isn’t too long to be considered old, but music turnover happens quickly.)
Something Current: Songs that have been released within the past year.
Something to Consider: This is the wild card category. Feel free to list any song: old, current, guilty pleasure, underground, whatever.

Something Old. ARTIST: The Standells, SONG: Dirty Water. WHY: First, it’s got an awesome beat. Second, it’s just fun. Third, it’s used in every happy montage in every movie set in Boston. Fourth, they play it at the end of Red Sox games when the hometown boys win. When this song pops up on my iPod, I have no choice but to lift my feet higher and stretch my stride wider. Now if only the Sox could put a little more oomph in their game maybe they wouldn’t be playing so unbelievably rotten and Fenway would hear this song a little more often. FAVORITE LINE: “Boston you’re my home”

Something current. ARTIST: NKOTBSB, SONG: Don’t Turn Out the Lights It’s not really current. And it’s just a smidge outside of 1 year. But. And it’s a big but (And I cannot lie). No list of Boston bands from a female runner my age could be complete without NKOTB. Particularly, I’m talking about teaming up with the Backstreet Boys to become the ultimate NKOTBSB. I’m actually about 5 years too young to have had a real crush on anyone in NKOTB, which put me in the exact age range for BSB. But let’s be honest. NKOTHB all the way. Especially if you watch it live. Those boys bring it and BSB tags along. That’ll probably start a war, but most of you know I speak truth. Plus they’re from Massachusetts and BSB are from wherever. Also, NKOTB aged way better. Way.

Oh yeah. It’s also here because it’s pretty easy to run along to. And who doesn’t have fun dancing in their head while they’re running along the road in front of the office. Oh. Just me? Yeah, I don’t think so. NKOTBSB played Fenway last year. And those NKOTB boys are from Massachusetts. I count them current enough for me. FAVORITE LINE: “And instantly, I’ love you like that”

Something to Consider. ARTIST: Boston. SONG: Foreplay/Long Time Two years ago for almost a month I had the guitar break/clapping rhythm stuck in my head. When I finally remembered some of the words and could google it, I was so happy. I say this is to consider because, though a bit slow in the beginning, it’s great for the dreadmill. Because once the song starts to pick up you’re immediately transported to a rock concert in the late 70s. Or the middle seat of my Dad’s F150 in 1994. My favorite is when the fitness center is empty and I spend a little extra energy to clap along. It always gives me a little extra boost. FAVORITE LINE: I don’t have a favorite line, but I love the clapping!

Well, that’s my list. I hope they’ll bring a little pep in your step! Anyone else got some faves from Boston/MA? Anyone not friends with me anymore for liking NKOTB more than BSB?